This is primarily a newsletter about building an app. But it’s also about addiction. I’m taking a break from the process to tell you my other purpose for building Benchd.

This week is always a tough one. Two years ago, one of my best friends, Pat, succumbed to his addiction. We had different addiction demons. I liked a 6-leg parlay, he preferred a six rack of Busch. Vice aside, we walked the road to recovery together.

He was the first friend I told about my addiction. Here is (what I didn’t know at the time) our last picture together. Atop a mountain - literally and metaphorically - after I told him about my problem. We vowed on this hike to get clean together. Just a year later, his ashes were spread in the mountains an hour away from this pic.

There are days I feel like I pushed him away and lost him. The last time I ever saw him, he was at my house promising me he was moving home to Chicago and getting clean. This was the day after I had him admitted to the hospital. Sometimes I wonder if he’s still around if I didn’t do that. I was at a loss and struggling to help him, but at least I could always see him.

And now I’ll never see him again. I can never hear his laugh or his latest (usually stupid) dating escapades. We tried to do it together. He tried, I know he did. But he ran out of energy. Addiction drains you until it kills you.

So now you understand a little better about why I’m doing this and who I’m doing it for. And why I’m so steadfast on including emotion and the human element. It’s because I saw firsthand what addiction did to myself and my best friend. I want to help people in this world like Pat. Or friends and family of Pat.

I’m lucky to be on the other side of it and typing this letter right now. Millions of people ending up losing that battle. The sports gambling epidemic is already here. Someone you know is currently struggling. Reach out. You never know when you’ll take your last picture with them.

Pat didn’t believe much about the afterlife. But I know wherever he is, he’s cracking dumb jokes, watching the Cubbies, and hip thrusting to this:

p.s. don’t worry, next week won’t be nearly as sad 😅